This I believe- I believe I can fly


(Before you start, why don’t you play the BGM below the article? That song is awesome.)

“I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.”

This is the famous line from R. Kelly’s mega hit song ‘I Believe I Can Fly’, and it might sound hilarious, but it's the belief that I've had for all my life. Superficially, I understand that believing that one can fly or one can reach the sky might seem a really stupid thing to do. But unlike how it looks stupid, it takes a lot to believe that you can fly. If one really wants to believe that one can actually fly over the sky, he or she must be free from the eyes of others and one needs the courage to push ahead with what one really wants to do and quit doing what one doesn't want to do.

The incident just struck in 2007 summer, on the first day of Chuseok vacation (or Korean Thanksgiving day). As usual, I and my family drove for 10 hours and watched TV at my grandma's house in the countryside for the annual Chuseok ceremony. Believe it or not, at the time, I was really a model student who still believed that I can fly: I was educated to behave politely every time and worked hard under pressure to meet the expectations of my teacher, parents, and grandparents. So at that time, I was sitting still and straight, eating mandarins, listening to my grandfather's instructions to be a well-formed grown up. No matter how much the word was instructive, an 8-year-old kid couldn't take his eyes off the movie ‘Superman’ which was on the TV at the time. Several hours after watching the movie, I was impressed and went up to the rooftop with a red cape and imitated Superman’s move on the movie. Then I eventually stood near the rooftop rail and looked down, and I thought it was a good chance to test my belief that I might be able to fly just like in the movie. I knew it was a wrong thing to do, but I really wanted to do that, and I also believed that I might get away from something. And that was it. I jumped.

I jumped from a wall of three meters and crashed into the ground like Superman who ate about three tons of kryptonite. With the loud noise, the whole family came out and was surprised to see my broken leg, but they were more surprised by my smiling face. I don't remember exactly, but my mom said I was smiling like the happiest kid in the world. I bet that I was free from everything at the moment: homework, parents, teacher, and everything that oppressed me.

After that day, I've been punished a lot, and it's taken me a long time to heal, but I never regret the choice. The reason is simple. It’s just because jumping off the roof was what I really wanted to do at the moment. Then I learned that the thing what others say you to do won’t teach you a thing but you might learn the most important thing from what others stop you to do.

To be honest, I’m not the unadulterated kid who truly believed that I can fly. But now I believe that I can fly in a different sense. If you really believe in yourself and are sure of what you can do, sometimes you can help with something that seems really crazy. I was oblivious to others' gaze and was limiting the possibility that I had on my own. Birds have wings, Superman has a cape, but I learned that it is not what I need to fly. All I needed was a little freedom and discretion. That’s why I still believe that I can fly someday. 

I believe I can fly - R. Kelly (LP version)


Comments

  1. Hmm. Interesting story. 8 years old? I think the context and details of the this practice flight could be elaborated a bit more carefully and playfully. Did you really think you could fly? Or was this a way to get rid of stress, make your parents worried, and maybe a reaction to your pressure filled life? Hmmm. To be honest, if my son did this I'd be very worried. Especially if he thought he could fly. So I'm a little unclear about the details and story, and I don't want to misinterpret it or form an inaccurate judgement. These are the types of things one has to be careful of when writing college essays. Generally, this has some potential.

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